Our two selves- the story of our lives and the inner experience of it.
Neuroscience has shown that we are constantly in a state of experiencing two types of self-awareness. The first form is our narrative, our autobiography. This form of self-awareness changes with time, as our story changes with our experience of life. Centered around our use of language, our story grows and shifts as our emotional state changes- Have you ever asked two people about an experience that they shared? They may tell very different stories of the experience depending on their own emotional experiences. If you ask the same people about the same experience a year later, you may hear completely different stories, as these people may be living in completely different emotional experiences from the previous year.
The second form of self-awareness is based on moment to moment experiences. This self-awareness system is centered around our sensations and carries a deeper truth, a truth that is held within our bodies. It is more difficult to connect this self-awareness into words. This self-awareness is what makes your stomach clench when you recall a horrible memory. The one that experiences that “my heart is full” feeling. You may not be able to express some of this into words, but you can feel it inside.
These systems are often out of synch. Sometimes our physical experience of a situation becomes too much to incorporate into our narrative. Then our two systems begin to diverge. To the outer world we tell a story of our experience. But inside, our emotional experience is different. Because this second form of self-awareness is based in the medial prefrontal cortex, this system can actually change our emotional brain. We keep telling the narrative to the outside world, but the inner truth is seated in a different experience, an experience based in sensations which is informing our emotional truth. So, how can we reconcile these two? This is where yoga comes in.
In working with our physical sensations, we can begin to assimilate those sensations into our experiences. We can begin to befriend our sensations- the pleasant and the not-so-pleasant sensations…. maybe even the down-right-horrible sensations. If we can acknowledge them, we can begin to work with them. We can begin to incorporate the existence of the unpleasantness into our narrative. We can learn to be OK with the good and the bad. Only then, can we come into our wholeness. Our full being of existence.
On and Off the Yoga Mat 